This has been a pretty boring week for me. I went to back down to school this week to start my workout and diet program. The plan was only to stay to Thursday then head back home to Louisville Ky. We all know how life is; hardly anything goes according to plan.
Come to find out, one of my friends is having a wedding this weekend. So instead of going home, I had to stay down at school, in the small town of Columbia, Ky. where there is nothing to do
Since Monday, my days have gone like this. I wake up around 10 in the morning. Catch a small breakfast and watch some TV to wake up. So around 1130 or noon, I head to the gym to start my workout. After the workout, I head back to the apartment, take a shower and watch more TV. I can safely say, nothing is exciting is happening in my life right now.
So I was thinking, what I’m going to write about for my post today. Well to be honest, I don’t have anything. So I decided to take the cheap the way out. I wrote an article for my school paper last year. I hit the tough subject about how to get rid of someone that likes you but you don’t like them. So if there is anybody out in the world right now, that has this problem. I give you the answer.
“Everyone wants to be loved, it’s a natural desire,” said Jenny Summerford, a Lindsey Wilson College (LWC) Alumnus. “Some people, probably most, just don’t fulfill this need.”
Sometimes the desire a person has for someone can go a bit too far. The desire can become over-bearing and begin to smother someone to the point that they no longer want to be with that person in a relationship. Sometimes this is done by accident, and never really meant to be done. Then there are other times where this is meant to be done and you just have a crazy person on your hands.
Everybody has the need to be with someone in their life. Some people will spend their whole lives searching for that right person that will fill the need. What is the need or why can’t we be lonely?
“We are social animals,” said Jeff Crane, Director of Counseling and Human Development. “We find meaning in relationships. We prefer to be with other people, it is just who we are.”
Search for a whole lifetime and finally found that one person that fills the need. What if that person was there one day and the next day they checked out. Everybody handles lost in a different way. Some might accept it and others might deny.
“If anybody has ever lost something, they’re going to search for whatever it is they lost,” Crane said. “People in relationships are the same way; they are going to search for what they lost.”
So now you need to end a relationship. Here are 10 plans that will guarantee that he or she will leave you alone for good.
Stinky Pitts- Get sweaty at least three times a day, and stop taking showers completely. After a couple of days of not showering you will start to get a nice smell going on. Once you have achieved smelling like a skunk, your partner will be keeping a good distance so they do not have to put-up with the smell.
Now, if they are still hanging around you and acting like you do not stink at all even though you can still smell yourself, that is when you need to go to plan B.
Excuse Me- Take your special someone out on a fancy date. Go to a really nice restaurant and let them think you are trying to be romantic. Once you have sat down and your food is on the table, burping and farting as much and as loud as you can.
Your goal is to get everyone in the restaurant to stare at your table. Once you have everyone’s attention, start blaming your boyfriend or girlfriend for the farts and burps.
Ten out of 10 times, they will get upset with you. Just hope that you can get them mad enough to break- up with you.
If somehow they forgive you for embarrassing them in the restaurant, that just means you need to go to the next plan.
* * * * * * *
Most people want to be in a relationship and have someone that will love them, but it seems to never work out.
“I would hope someone gets into a relationship because they want to be with that person but I think we all know that’s not always the case,” Summerford said. “I have several friends who can’t stand to be alone and they will jump from relationship to relationship whether they actually like a person or not.”
Whatever the reason is, in today’s times we are a generation that has a problem finding true love. We think we find it, and then it all falls apart. Sometimes it falls apart when we do not want it to, but other times it cannot fall apart when we truly want it to fall apart. That is why there is a plan C.
Drop and Run- Try to get your boyfriend or girlfriend to forgive you for embarrassing them in the restaurant. You might be wondering why you would ever do this, but just hear it out.
Ask them out on a date and tell them it is surprise where you all are going. Take them out for a picnic somewhere far away from where you live.
When you arrive at the place that is far away from where you live, get out and walk a good distance away from your car. When you have gone far enough, act like you forgot something in the car. Tell them to start getting stuff ready for the picnic while you go back to the car. Once you get back to the car, drive away fast and go back home.
By some kind of miracle that they make it home and they forgive you for leaving them out there with no ride, then you might need to pray, but don’t worry. We have a plan D.
Classy Lady- Hire an escort with a feather boa and pink crocs. This plan really might sound stupid, but if you bring the escort around your crazy partner, and let them know that it is an escort with a feather boa and pink crocs, it might just be crazy enough to work. They should break up with you for cheating on them, but if they say that you are just going through a phase (a very weird phase) and you will just get over it, then might as well go to plan E.
Unwanted Friend- If they do not break up with you for the escort with a feather boa and pink crocs, then it is time to lie. Take them to the side and act like you are devastated about something. You will get their attention because they will think something is wrong.
This is when you drop the bombshell. Let the words come out slow and stutter a little. Get the point across that you have an STD- and it can never be cured.
At this point, if they forgive you for cheating on them and catching an STD, you should not be surprised. Who in their right mind would still keep you around? You know the answer to that question, so the only thing to do is to move on to plan F.
* * * * * * *
How should a person go about handling a boyfriend or girlfriend that has become obsessive and crazy?
“Just keep moving forward,” said Laura Smith, an alumnus of LWC. “If you don’t want them to be part of your life, don’t give them a place. You don’t have to be rude, but just move on and let time move on, too.”
That is a very good approach to take on the situation. It is very settle and mature. You are taking the higher road and just letting things work out on its own, but some have a different approach.
“I would probably completely avoid him at first,” said LWC senior Kristi Apple. “If that did not work, then I would just get a boyfriend that was a lot stronger than my ex.”
This is also a very good approach to take. That will definitely get the point across that you are serious about not being with that person.
No matter if you go the high road and just walk away or you have someone beat them up, you will always have plan F right around the corner….
Tardy Time- Plan a bunch of dates and make almost all of them romantic. The catch? Be late for every single date.
The goal is to keep them waiting at least 45 minutes to an hour. You want them to be furious with you for being later to a date that you planned.
Now, if they do not break up with you, then you have an all new kind of stalker on your hands. There is a plan G, but at this point, who knows if it will work.
Hide and …. Hide?- Give some kind of speech about how you just want to act like you are a kid again. Tell your Boyfriend or Girlfriend that you want to play a little game called hide and seek.
Tell them to hide while you start counting down til you are supposed to go and find them. Once you stop counting, just leave and never go look for them.
Eventually your crazy partner will find you and yell at you for leaving and not looking for them. That is when you just laugh at them for playing childish games.
You hope and pray that this is the last straw and they can not take anymore. But, you clearly know, you can not get rid of them that easily.
You may begin to feel like this is a lost clause. You may think that there is no way to get rid of them. You might be right, but there are still a couple of more plans.
The Herd- This approach is different. Your goal is to only hang out with them when it is with their friends. You want to avoid them at all cost and make it obvious. They are going to get annoyed at you, but the next step is should push them over the edge.
You want to flirt with their friends right in front of them. You might be thinking that this plan will only make them jealous and want be around you even more, but we are running out of ideas.
This plan will more than likely fail, but of course there is a plan I. You always need a plan I, just in case the eight plans before this failed…
Just Keep Running- Just run away whenever you see them. If they yell your name to get your attention, just start running. If they walk up to you, run the other way.
This plan is not a good one, but if you just run away every time you see them, then eventually they have to get the picture.
Now if you really don’t like to run, you might want to just throw in the towel. But, if you have not lost faith and you believe you can get them out of your life. Keep going.
When all else fails, turn to plan J.
Witness Protection- This is the last plan. This has to work or you just might want to face the facts and marry them.
Pack up all your stuff and drive somewhere far, far away from them. Do not tell anyone that you are leaving or where you are going. As a matter fact, you should not even know where you are going.
Once you feel like you have gone far enough, just keep going. Once you have finally reached your new home, you need to change everything. Change your name, phone number, social security number, hair color, eye color, skin color, and even your shoe size. Do whatever it takes.
If they find you, then you need to drop everything and run until you can no longer run.. At this point you, know they will still find you. The only option now is to get a restraining order.
Stay on move until the restraining order is placed into effect. The next time you see them you can just call the police and have them thrown into jail.
Then you finally can have peace and mind, and move on with your life.. which is till they break out of jail.
Jeremy
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